I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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