We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
