so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
