i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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