please come you make the beer taste better
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
