I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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