i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
