I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
