yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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