no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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