I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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