Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
