saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
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