i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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