We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Everything about him screamed your future.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
