Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
