That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i've created a new STD.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
