Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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