I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
