So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
