Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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