White coat. Heels.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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