whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
