There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
