Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
