Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
