Who wears a wallet chain?!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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