I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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