Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
