i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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