escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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