A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
