i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
What a dumb baby whore.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
