so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
