Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
