i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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