why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
