After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
