He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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