I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
