Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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