Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
