awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
