so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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