Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
