You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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