ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
