If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
