I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
