You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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