yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
