This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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