i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
