Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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