I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
