I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
