she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
