Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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