do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
